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AN AMERICAN IN PARIS

2010-11-15T16:09:00.000-08:00

Recently discovered the disposable camera from my trip to Norway this summer. I spent 2 days in Oslo, 6 days in Gol, then traveled to Amsterdam and Rotterdam with a two day jaunt to Paris. The photos from Paris seem to be the only ones that made it, everything else was a series of washy red and white light - not so unlike Paris in the summertime. Oh well, as if what anyone needs is one more picture of an american in front of the eiffel tower.

So, in summary...

the end.

WANTED

2010-11-09T23:47:00.000-08:00

I wish I owned the keys to this particular champagne cadillac with adorable creature cargo... i swear it was speaking to me with it's eyes.

HOW TO DRESS WELL

2010-11-09T01:43:00.000-08:00

Introduced to me by thebehaviorist...i love everything about this.

BURY ME NOW

D E C I S I O N S

T A K E I T O N

WOODS

2010-11-05T17:19:00.000-07:00

I am designing my winter look from the following works by Marian Bantjes, an artist recently introduced to me by my cousin, Miss May. And the Volcano Choir recording of STILL adapted from Justin Vernon's WOODS.

ALL THE BOYS WHO LOVED ME BACK is burned into wood.

THE AUDACITY is shaped onto paper with loose glitter

VOLCANO CHOIR is a #dopename

White Christmas

2010-11-05T03:40:00.000-07:00

After being so inspired by Sufjan's show at the Wiltern in LA two weeks ago and the passing of Halloween I feel it is finally appropriate to bring out Stevens' box set of Christmas songs which I keep among my collection of other Christian inspired boxed sets including C.S. Lewis' The Chronicles of Narnia, Stephanie Meyers' The Twilight Saga, and a series of translations of the story Genesis. The last time I saw Sufjan was at UC Berkeley's Zellerbach Theater in 2006. At the end of the show inflatable santa clauses and supermans along with paper butterflies rained from the balcony and mezzanine onto the entire audience. Stevens himself wore eagle wings and an Illinois boyscout uniform.

The set includes 5 albums, an animated short story and a love letter from Sufjan about being young, educated in the world and broke and finally believing in Christmas. I received it as a gift from a boy who loved me once. I think of him every winter now... listening to Christmas songs with everybody else at the grocery store and while shopping at department stores... and through the windows of lighted houses.

***

i'm dreaming of a white christmas

los angeles :: past&present

2010-08-18T13:27:00.000-07:00

i used to go to los angeles to visit my grandfather in north hollywood

oxnard boulevard
we would drive to jerry's deli and he would order me matza ball soup
watching me eat it with eyes wide saying
come on now, that's good stuff!
then we would talk about books, baseball and one liners
and he would tell me i should sing more jazz

i just returned from a week spent in the LA state of mind
filled with new friends
finding newness in old ones
comparing menus between diners and taco carts
and working on something creatively that is very very new....
looking forward to sharing it...
soon

shout outs and strawberry kisses to the lovely Madame Blash, my dearest of dears, who hosted me for the week, who entertains my 2am rambling and giggle fests and who is always two steps ahead of you. it's just a fact.

Really feeling her feist reminder...

"so much past inside my present"

and reminded of falling in love with Leslie live

amy milan

2010-08-05T03:50:00.000-07:00

Amy Milan is the reason I bought an electric guitar after watching her perform with STARS at the Fillmore in 2005. I was in love. Feeling this song tonight. And this video. And like all I want to do is put on a hoody and ride my bike to Taylor's house for some cinnamon bread.

Breakfast of Champions

2010-04-27T16:51:00.001-07:00

No, I am not referring to Kilgore Trout. Or what Tank would feed you aboard the Nebuchadnezzar. What I am talking about here is ROCKY BALBOA.

People keep asking me, "Kelsey...How do you deal with the stress of final exams in a fun, low-cost way that doesn't make you gain weight, develop permanent asymmetrical facial expressions or impact the environment??"

WELL I'LL TELL YOU!

I watch this video 5 times every morning with a strong cup of bluebottlecoffee. It's just what I need to get me PUMPED AND READY TO SMASH DEADLINES LIKE IVAN DRAGO'S FACE.

POW POW POW!
cheers to YOU ROCKY BALBOA. and your one handed push ups at sunset. still waiting for there to be an actual ROCKY THE CEREAL so I can indeed have the breakfast of champions. little boxing glove corn puffs.

ps that statue is here in philly with meeeee. dingdong.

Kevin Bacon (or Why I Have Trouble Focusing When Everything is Connected)

2010-04-07T23:59:00.000-07:00

I love markers. Or really inky pens that are almost markers. Or lining things up by color so they look like marker sets (like my closet)

For these reasons I am so excited to see this video for KRINK and their new pens.

YOWWWW!!

But wait! Crystal Pharoah, who produced the music and video featured above for KRINK, is aka Cliff Cristofaro of the band SiSe: one of my favorite bands from when I was in high school. SiSe just put out a new album with this luscious single

YUUMMMY.

Which reminds me, when I was in high school SiSe toured with Mr. David Byrne , MYHERO and constant reminder of indepedent investigation of art.

SNAPPERDAP.

Related-ly, just last week I was at a talk by Maira Kalman of M&Co who was talking about her life and work with husband Tibor Kalman and their design adventures, beginning of course with the TalkngHeads Album covers, liner notes and music videos in the 1980s.

Why must everything come back to David Byrne?! Is he my Damon Bradley?

Somehow this must relate to Kevin Bacon... but I'm not too concerned with it at the moment :)

BABY FAT

2010-03-25T00:00:00.000-07:00

Today I am 25.

They say it is my golden birthday. I don't know what that means. But rounding the number off to a quarter century feels... well... quite nice. I feel like this year brings with it a sigh of relief as if I finally feel comfortable in my own skin. I see it in the way I look forward to criticism, or no longer filter my sorry jokes. I have completely accepted that the chubby parts around my waist are not babyfat, they're just me. And I like me. I'm pretty stellar. I have been thinking recently about my childhood and that little girl who saw the world without thinking about how the world saw her. I feel like I am returning to that place, believing in my own fantasies again except with a greater appreciation for how real they are. And I've decided that I am going to start living more in my dreams. Without apology.

So, in light of these new revelations, I propose a new tradition. From now on my birthday will be a day dedicated to all individuals younger than me. If you are 24 or younger consider this your birthday too!! And celebrate!! Eat your favorite dessert, give courtesy high fives and skip to the bus stop. I dare you. And as I get older, the more of us celebrate. And then maybe... just maybe... if I live long enough to be the oldest woman on the planet, we can all celebrate my birthday together with the biggest banana split the world has ever seen.

I would like to also take a minute to say quite seriously: THANK YOU. To you people, my many friends and family who make this little life of mine full of color, wisdom, laughter and HOPE. You are all invited to my HULA PARTY taking place @myhouse RIGHTNOW.

allmylove,
k

HOPE by onra
(birthday girl's choice)

golden

2010-03-23T20:41:00.000-07:00

sneak preview (OHS EMS GEES)

and keep it classy

18

2010-03-19T10:36:00.000-07:00

When the sun shines clearly and everything is brightened and warmed as it is now in Philadelphia, it makes me miss the east bay. Tilden and telegraph, brick pig's and cheeseboard, the hills and the marina, amoeba and the parkway, people on the grass, people on the grass, people on the grass.

New Cellular Sends video from Oakland, CA MMMMMMMMM.
Excerpt: Citizen Stork, Trimn from Greyscale's Mission to Mars

Etiquette

2010-03-13T20:50:00.001-08:00

I rarely drool.

However, this blog definitely makes my bottom lip fall away from my face.

If you are a man, and you wonder what a woman notices about your clothes... these men may be able to help you out. The secret, you see, is in the details... the fabric that surrounds her eyelashes when she rests her head upon your shoulder, the chosen accessories that reveal your awareness of the little things, the creative use of patterns/textures that she will notice immediately and always remember you by... and most importantly... garments that are tailored to fit the body... so that you are wearing the outfit, instead of the other way around.

Enjoy slowly. Then share.

two

2010-03-03T10:39:00.000-08:00

to await the morning sun. the same one. to move around it and admire it's silhouettes. and wave goodbye and wonder... how it never stops burning.

one

2010-03-02T10:42:00.000-08:00

to fly to fly to fly

Ala

2010-02-28T20:23:00.000-08:00

may the fast
awaken my appetite

and expose
my cravings

and nourish
my will

and cleanse
the channels of my mind.

and let the year end in enchantment of the simplest of things. lunch.

the morning benders

2010-02-28T13:54:00.000-08:00

Ok, this is just so cool. old berkeley friends making beautiful things and reminding me how much i miss san francisco.

if you don't already know the morning benders enjoy the recent video for "excuses" recorded in SF with the echo chamber orchestra.

and if you just need more check out the new album BIG ECHO

Ladies and Gentlemen, Patsy Cline

2010-01-14T18:28:00.000-08:00

Patsy Cline keeps me company these days.

She was known for walking after midnight.

And for singing with perfect pitch.

Furthermore, Cline was the first female country artist to perform at Carnegie Hall, also the first woman to headline her own show in 1962 in Las Vegas. She passed away in a fatal plane accident at the young age of 30.

This song "Crazy" was written by Willie Nelson, but Patsy Cline sings it from the inside out.

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sanctuary

2009-12-14T19:18:00.000-08:00

Around the corner from my apartment, this church is for lease. I keep thinking about it.

O.K.!

2009-10-08T22:45:00.000-07:00

There's so much to catch up on...

So to just break the ice, here are two videos from one of my favorite artists of 2009

more soon.... so soon.

omen

2009-03-26T10:35:00.000-07:00

yesterday i turned 24.

the night before, i fell asleep very late. in my dream there appeared a streak of gold tangled in my hair. my cousin saw it first and then as i ran my fingers through it the gold spread around the side of my head until it formed the pattern of a spotted butterfly wing. suddenly my hair began to grow very quickly, reaching to the floor like a tapestry... when i awoke my mom was kissing my forehead and whispering.

in russian, butterfly is "babochka" which comes from baba or babka meaning woman/mother or grandmother. in ancient greece, Aristotle named the butterfly "psyche", which meant soul or mind, and was the name of Eros' human lover. in 4000 BC, ancient chinese philosopher Zhuangzi dreamt of being a butterfly and flying without care for human beings. when he awoke he said "am i Zhuangzi who has dreamt he was a butterfly, or a butterfly dreaming now that i am Zhuangzi?"

i'm not sure how to interpret the golden butterfly wing in my hair...but it felt like light and magic. and it made me think that true beauty still lies ahead of me... as a woman and mother, as soul and mind.... as a butterfly.

NAW RUZ

2009-03-20T11:54:00.000-07:00

today is a NEW YEAR

"Now the new age is here and creation is reborn. Humanity hath taken on new life. The autumn hath gone by, and the reviving spring is here.

All things are now made new. Arts and industries have been reborn, there are new discoveries in science, and there are new inventions; even the details of human affairs, such as dress and personal effects . . Renewal is the order of the day.

And all this newness hath its source in the fresh outpourings of wondrous grace and favour from the Lord of the Kingdom, which have renewed the world. The people, therefore, must be set completely free from their old patterns of thought, that all their attention may be focused upon these new principles, for these are the light of this time and the very spirit of this age.

When these Teachings are effectively spread among the people, until the old ways, the old concepts, are gone and forgotten, this world of being will find no peace, nor will it reflect the perfections of the Heavenly Kingdom. Strive ye with all your hearts to make the heedless conscious, to waken those who sleep, to bring knowledge to the ignorant, to make the blind to see, the deaf to hear, and restore the dead to life.

It behoveth you to show forth such power, such endurance, as to astonish all beholders. The confirmations of the Kingdom are with you. Upon you be the glory of the All-Glorious."

- Abdu'l-Baha

retro spect

2009-03-19T13:20:00.000-07:00

TODAY marks the 6th year since America invaded Iraq on a mission to discover and disarm all threats of secret weapons of mass destruction.

6 years later , 1million Iraqi and Afgan civilians have been killed, and countless more displaced. America has spent $845 billion dollars to accomplish this. If that's not a weapon of mass destruction, I don't know what is.

TRIAL

2009-03-10T22:29:00.000-07:00

As many have become aware, within the last few weeks 7 Baha'is in Iran who have been imprisoned for several months are awaiting trial on charges that include spying for Israel, espionage, and propaganda against the Islamic government.

Truly, the problems of our modern world belong to all of us and the solution will require each of us. May we seek to understand what is going on with our fellow mankind in Iran and reflect upon what we can do. Awareness itself is a step toward progress.

For those of us still unaware of the religious persecution on the Baha'is in Iran I recommend the following resources.

THIS SITE contains up to date news about the trial , global response, and information about the US House Resolution 175.

THIS VIDEO gives a short and dynamic visual of the dark history surrounding this issue.

THIS STATEMENT of support by writers and journalists in Kurdistan is among the most well-written and moving statements I have ever read. Take a look.

"Love ye all religions and all races with a love that is true and sincere and show that love through deeds and not through the tongue; for the latter hath no importance, as the majority of men are, in speech, well-wishers, while action is the best." - Abdu'l-Baha

Iran

2009-02-05T13:47:00.000-08:00

A son writes about his father's life, service, and imprisonment in Iran:

here.

Hard to believe these stories persist in 2009. Hard to know what to do with the feelings of injustice they conjure.

In regards to Mr. Tavakkoli, I think to live a beautiful life is more valuable than living a charmed one and I do not pity him. I think rather I pity the government who is spending money, time and resources trying to suppress the very nobility which they desire to possess.

The will of man is only the will of man.

spirit

2009-02-04T14:10:00.000-08:00

"In the world of existence there is nothing so important as spirit, nothing so essential as the spirit of man.

The spirit of man is the most noble of phenomena.

The spirit of man is the meeting between man and God.

The spirit of man is the animus of human life and the collective center of all human virtues.

The spirit of man is the cause of the illumination of this world."

-Abdu'l-Baha

Beyond Politics

2008-10-06T19:38:00.000-07:00

With the 2008 presidential election approaching the United States is in a political frenzy. For the last 3 months the country has been trying to make up it's mind on moral issues, foreign policy, economic recovery plans, health care, educational services and the institution of marriage... in short, the country is trying to form some kind of broad vision for it's future. Much like a teenager who is trying to decide what path they will take, reconciling the traditions of their forefathers in a ever-changing modern world, we don't know exactly where we are heading, but we sure do have a lot to say.

At a big moment such as this, it helps to stand back from the little dots on the canvas and ask ourselves "what kind of country are we trying to build?" Beyond the campaigns, the partisan politics, beyond winning popular opinion, what is our responsibility as Americans in this moment?

When Abdu'l-Baha visited the United States in 1912 he spoke about the great destiny of this America nation. In an address at a public library in Washington DC dated April 20, 1912 he said,

"I have traveled this long distance, crossed the Atlantic Ocean to this western continent in the desire and hope that the strongest bond of unity may be established between America and Persia... May this American democracy be the first nation to establish the foundation of international agreement. May it be the first nation to proclaim the universality of mankind. May it be the first to upraise the standard of the Most Great Peace, and through this nation of democracy may these philanthropic intentions be spread broadcast throughout the world. Truly, this is a great and revered nation. Here liberty has reached its highest degree. The intentions of it's people are most praiseworthy. They are indeed, worthy of being the first to build the Tabernacle of the Most Great Peace and proclaim the oneness of mankind. I will supplicate God for assistance and confirmation in your behalf." - Abdu'l-Baha

Almost a century later these words seem to hit us somewhere that we all feel but have trouble communicating. Abdu'l-Baha articulates a hope for America that is ever greater than what we may have dreamt for ourselves. It is a beautiful prayer that all of us can feel, and maybe touch during fleeting moments. It is a beautiful destiny and worthy of our reflection.

I am thinking about these things. I am in this moment and looking beyond it.

Relatedly, this Saturday evening the Baha'i community at Stanford University is hosting an event to commemorate Abdu'l-Baha's visit to the University's Memorial Church on October 8, 1912... More about that moment, next time.

hand made

2008-08-19T01:25:00.000-07:00

alexandra made this with her own two hands using recycled paper, hole-punched clippings of various textile designs, and thread of red and yellow. it came in the mail today, tucked into a white envelope lined with gold, like a buried treasure among a stack of boring notices and bills. i stared at it for 5 minutes, turning it over and feeling it's textures, all the while thinking of alex's little face, focused as her hands move a needle in and out of the paper without causing a single tear or bend. i thought about her little feet as she walked to drop off the crafted treasure to the post office, and where she would be heading afterwards. i pictured the post man driving it up the highway of california, unaware of the little treasure in the trunk. it was like a little piece of alex had traveled all that way to see me.

Thank you, alex. You have inspired me!

In dedication to things hand made, hand played, hand written, and hand delivered.

flora

2008-08-17T12:02:00.009-07:00

My dear Ashley and I had the pleasure of spending a full week at Jr. Youth Week at Bosch Baha'i School. We taught a class on the Life of Abdu'l-Baha through the practice of story telling and the assembly of 'service flowers' where each student represented their services to their community on the petals of a larger than life-sized flower made from construction paper and floral wire.

After assembling the petals, each student attached a leaf with a quote from Abdu'l-Baha. One of their favorites was:

"The reality of man is his thought, not his material body." - Abdu'l-Baha

Sophie was our excellent assistant. She is wearing a flower-beret, made by herself, as a sign of her distinguished position in the classroom.
The students planted their service flowers in a dry spot on campus, creating an installation garden that grew over five days, and then disappeared as the students picked them before they returned home.

watch the video by a. paige

tracing

2008-07-21T21:02:00.000-07:00

El Salvador, C.A.

My grandparents moved to Argentina from Long Beach in 1971. They moved from Argentina to El Salvador in 1978. Grandpa took the position of principal at la Escuela Americana in San Salvador. My mom was 16.

It is impossible to predict where life will take you. Six years ago I came to El Salvador for the first time to join a group of Baha'i youth. We lived in a rural area near Santa Ana where the Baha'is owned a good sized piece of land that had been turned into a school, El Instituto Baha'i. There were a few classrooms without walls, a kitchen, and two barracks attached with bunk beds lining the walls that lead to two showers. The jungle was thick, the air was hot. In the summer time you could see the rain clouds gather in a matter of minutes and all of a sudden a blanket of rain would fall down in large drops. It was loud rain. Monsoon. Some nights the storm would wipe out the power, and we would eat our dinner in the light of the moon with flashes of lightning lighting our tables every few minutes.

We invited the local children for virtues classes at the school. We held English classes for the young people, and spent the evening exchanging hip hop moves for salsa and merengue. We spent most nights wrapped in discussions about the claims of Baha'u'llah and His fulfillment of Christ's prophecy. I caught up on my knowledge of the New Testament and learned how to translate biblical words like 'rapture' and 'resurrection'. My spanish was stronger in my head than on my tongue. I spent a lot of time with my mouth shut and my eyes open, relying on those who had already crossed the language bridge, and learning a lot about my american-ness.

I have returned to El Salvador, it is my second visit. This time I am here to deliver my sister to her new home. Last month, she married a Baha'i who is in medical school in San Salvador, he is one of the youth I met six years ago. He is one of the best young men I have ever known. And now, he and I have one very important thing in common: we both would do anything for Carmel. I have never shared that feeling before, and it makes our friendship very special. Carmel is my sister, but she is more like my angel. To know her is to know what I mean. I have never felt another's happiness as my own happiness as I do now, watching her here. Emotions blur and there is a new appreciation for life's mysterious power.

So it seems El Salvador has become a part of my family's life again. Que fantastico :)

the face

2008-06-27T00:02:00.000-07:00

"We know that people are formed by the light and air, by their inherited traits, and their actions. We can tell from appearance the work someone does or does not do; we can read in his face whether he is happy or troubled..."

- August Sander, 1876-1964

August Sander photographed portraits of all kinds of people in Westerwald, Germany at the turn of the 20th century. His collection 'Man of the 20th Century' captures the faces of people as they exist in their natural environments. He focused on groups of people in their working clothes or professional attire, and then captioned the photographs with their social title - school-teacher, artist, farmer, peasant, beggar, etc - He wanted to study how a person's face revealed the complexity of human emotion and also one's relationship to their environment.

" [Sander] believed that inner character, as shaped by work, was discernable in one’s exterior features. . . .

- April Watson,
National Gallery of Art, Washington

Sander's portraits are remarkable. The faces are so striking, almost completely unaware of the camera, they are full of instinct. There is something to be said for a face that has been underexposed to the world. The face that has looked out at life and made it's way through life without mirrors constantly reflecting their image back at them. The face knows not how it looks, but how it feels. It is sensing and moving. It is a pure kind of beauty, a beauty unaware of itself. The expressions of Sander's subjects are so pure that they make me feel at once attracted and ashamed.

I am reminded of Oscar Wilde's Portrait of Dorian Gray, which toyed with the idea of the face revealing the nature of the soul.

I also think of how ridiculous many modern pictures look with everybody smiling all the time. There is nothing so unnatural as that. More, perhaps, is expressed in the expressionless face.

August Sander. Take a look.

Sacred

2008-06-09T00:37:00.000-07:00

I recently completed a design class through UCB extension where, every week, we were given a new project to conceptualize, model and present the following week. Totally hands on, totally rigorous, totally my style.

One assignment went like so: First, we were to chose a sacred object/ancestor, be it person, place, experience, or thing. My teacher was quick to make the disclaimer that the object need not be religious in nature. Second, we were to design a 'Memorial Shrine' to capture and conjure the spirit and memory of that sacred ancestor. We were asked to pay attention to form, light, movement, sound, color, texture, and all elements pertaining to environmental experience. The big question she wanted us to answer was, How do you represent the sacred?

Choosing my ancestor was easy. She was the first thing that came to my mind. Tahirih, The Pure One.

Now, up until this point in my class I had kept my personal life personal, presenting only my ideas and opinions as they related to the project at hand. But this time, it seemed, I was not going to be able to skirt around talking about myself, and most essentially, about my life as a Baha'i.

So I decided to go all in. When it came around to my turn to present, I stood in front of the class and took a deep breath. I told them I was going to share with them, in full detail, a unique history that I was sure none of them had ever encountered. And this history, I explained, is the basis of my identity, for my whole family is centered around it and connected by it. And when stripped of everything situation and DNA has given to me, it is this history that I cling to as my compass.

Thus I opened a portal to 1844 Persia and talked about the culture, The Bab and the Babi's, and the mullahs, and Baha'u'llah, and of Tahirih. Her poetry, her veil, her death, her legacy. I talked about the Baha'is, Baha'u'llah's claims, Mount Carmel, pilgrimage, Abdu'-l-Baha's visit to California, my great great grandmothers Bible with His picture inside, my grandparents' tranformation, my parents, my name, my identity. My history. I also showed pictures of Mt. Carmel to give context for the architecture. And I showed them my model, which is pictured above.

The response I received was like that of children watching Aladdin for the first time. Their eyes were wide and they were silent, and smiling almost. They watched me. They looked at me differently, as if I had transformed in front of their eyes and they might miss something if they looked away. They had many questions.

After that night everyone in the class felt like my friend. Not that they knew my favorite color, but they knew from my own heart what was most sacred to me.

I ponder now, what else is there to share?

p a t t e r n

2008-06-05T01:47:00.000-07:00

These are examples of my textile concepts! One single square design is multiplied and rotated/flipped to create a larger pattern. Kind of like music.

Woman

2008-06-05T01:09:00.000-07:00

Ladies,

Let us help each other become masters of ourselves. Let us never tear each other down, in secret or in public. Let us stand up for one another, and never expose each other. Let us evolve, and laugh, and create, and explore. Let us love each other completely for our common responsibility. We need each other greatly, and the world needs our unity. I feel somehow that if we can do this, the men will follow.

"I do not wish women to have power over men, but over themselves." - Mary Wollstonecraft 1797

Wollstonecraft is most well known for her work A Vindication of the Rights of Women. Also, for her Letters written in Sweden, Norway, and Denmark which inspired the style of the Romantic authors. And also, as the mother of Mary Shelley, author of Frankenstein.

a show of hands

2008-04-09T02:07:00.000-07:00

Currently I am tutoring a prep class for the SAT exam. I meet with a class of high school students weekly to practice tricky geometry problems and sentence completion strategies. It's astonishing how students have to put in so much extra time to prepare adequately for this test! They are working very hard, and trying to concentrate while 'prom' is on the horizon and their hormones are making paper airplanes that bounce around inside their heads. Tonight everyone was restless. So we took a break from our study of "how to examine the purpose of a critical reading passage" and I asked the students to tell me what, in their opinion, was the purpose of life.

I had never seen so many hands shoot up before in the classroom. It was as if I asked "so, who wants cake?!" They were so eager to share their ideas on the subject. So I called on one at a time, and everyone listened to each other. One student said the purpose of life is to procreate, that we are essentially biological. Another said reality is all a shadow of our own consciousness, and life is about serving our individual needs. A third student said, the purpose of life is to have an impact on the world, to shape the future in some way. The class really liked this one, and they all fell silent in their thoughts. I then asked, "who among you wants to change the world?".... again, a rush of hands took to the air, and this time a slur of sounds as they started blurting out ideas. All of them had something on their hearts that they believed in, something that they felt was meaningful. Whether it was a free Tibet, equal educational opportunities, or a well-designed skate park, each person's ideas were sincerely thought out and all of them were important.

I wished we could have spent the whole class discussing our ideas together, learning from each other and gaining perspective. But we had a lesson to get through, and the SAT to study for, and college standards to compete with. So we put our hearts on hold and got back on track.

the content of our characters

2008-04-04T23:25:00.000-07:00

"I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight, and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed, and all flesh shall see it together." - Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

Today marks the 40th anniversary of the assassination of beloved Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. NPR prepared interesting debates about his life, his political activism and his dream of an equal and educated America. I found myself for the first time feeling deeply emotional about the loss of Dr. King. I have admired him ever since we studied the civil rights movement in 8th grade history class; bus boycott, the March on Washington, protesting the Vietnam war. But today I felt such a sense of loss, as if I had heard the news for the first time. I think it was when one reporter was posing the question, "At age 79, what would Martin Luther King think of the world today? And what would he be doing about it?" It struck me to think of Dr. King being alive today, and only 79 years old! I started thinking of the last 40 years in this country and imagined how Dr. King might have been involved had he survived the fatal gunshot. So I looked up some famous quotes to get some ideas. Here are just a few... each one deserves a post, take your time:

"A nation that continues year after year to spend more money on military defense than on programs of social uplift is approaching spiritual doom."

"I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word in reality. This is why right, temporarily defeated, is stronger than evil triumphant."

"In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends."

"Nonviolence means avoiding not only external physical violence, but also internal violence of spirit. You not only refuse to shoot a man, but you refuse to hate him."

"Philanthropy is commendable, but it must not cause the philanthropist to overlook the circumstances of economic injustice which make philanthropy necessary."

"If we are to go forward, we must go back and rediscover those precious values - that all reality hinges on moral foundations and that all reality has spiritual control."

What I find deeply satisfying about Martin Luther King's ideas is how he connects every social ill to a collective lack of spiritual development. This makes sense to me, that the problems we face are but symptoms of our imbalanced development. That we will inevitably have problems until we can address our inability to see each other as one people, one race, one world.

A lot to think about.

"The question is not whether we will be extremist, but what kind of extremist will we be?"

God Bless you, Dr. King.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=iEMXaTktUfA&feature=related

a tribute

2008-04-02T00:43:00.000-07:00

My Grandpa, Sidney Bulkin, passed away 4 weeks ago today after a fatal heart attack. He was 83. His passing has left a profound impression on my mind and heart as suddenly I feel the pain of physical separation and the poking of existential questions.

I realize more with each day how deeply and completely I loved my Grandpa. And in his absence I continue to learn from him. I feel his passing mark a new stage in my own growth, as I contemplate my own life as if it were a book I were reading, and i wonder.....How does it end? How am I remembered? What did I love?

May I learn to love the whole world they way Grandpa did. May I always seek to know for myself what is true. May I be honest with myself, and fearful of God's justice. I want to keep his best qualities alive through my own actions. I want to recycle his incredible one liners with equal charm and mischief. "Take care dahling"... "you little devil"..."give me a jingle"... May I always love the little things just the way he did. May I listen to every song with my eyes closed and hands waving all around, cringing at the good parts because they're just too good.

I love you Grandpa. Few have shined so brightly. You are always my favorite person to sing to.

I took a trip on a train, and I thought about you
I passed a shadowy lane, and I thought about

For details of Sidney Bulkin's extraordinary life: http://sbjazzhouse.blogspot.com/